Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
