Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
