Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
