first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
