She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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