Banned from zoo.
Again?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
