The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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