But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
