Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
