Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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