I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
