I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize