Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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