If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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