I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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