I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
