people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize