this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
