I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
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he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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