Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
