And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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