I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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