Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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