This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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