i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
