1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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