remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
