Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
is it fun? or sober?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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