True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize