i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
