I swear she didn't look like that last week.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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