I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
