God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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