Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
