I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
bring money and cleavage
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
