It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
