That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
