i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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