You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
