We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
