I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Houston, we have a squirter
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
