; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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