awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
