Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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