why didn't you poke me back
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize