she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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