I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
