I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
