you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My vagina just clenched in fear
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize