we're blogging at a bar
id be glad to
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
