It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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