I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
