she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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