he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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