I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
