i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize