If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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