i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
