Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Randomize
