who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
