Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
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THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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