I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
