We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
