Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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