I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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