It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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