We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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